What Does It Take to Be Proud Who You Are?

من خرج من داره اتقل مقداره
(men kharag men daro it-al me-daro)
A man’s pride will be safe as long as he is in his own house

There are times when I really hate living in the society where physical appearance is the most important thing that a person can judge from you. Believe it or not, it makes you shallow, it makes you want to look define, and it makes you want to be the glorious queen.

When you’re a Muslim women, there are certain ways of how you’re supposed to dress, act, and live. You are the crystal clear diamond, your purity is being strongly protected and highly respected by God. This is not extremism whatsoever, nothing but simply protecting women’s pride.

How are you supposed to react to that?

Happy, is one. Proud too, some people say.

But let me remind you again, we are living in a society where everything is being defined by how things look from the outside, and when you’re a teenage Muslim, believe me when I say this; this society of shallow minds makes you feel a lot more like rucksack than diamonds.

Let me ask you, how are you supposed to feel when you want to obey God’s will and decide to dress as modest as you can but then suddenly one of your good friend criticize your fashion style and call what you wear outdated or ugly? This must make you want to burn all the skirts and long dresses that you have to swap it all up with the skinniest jeans and the most revealing shirts you can find.

And what are you also supposed to do when you want to wear your headscarf right exactly how you’re supposed to wear it and suddenly your friend calls you a freak? What are you supposed to do, as a teenager, when they call you beautiful the more revealing you are?

If you’re adult enough to ignore the noises, I applaud you. But when you tell teenagers in high school to ignore the voice and tell them it doesn’t matter, it’s never that easy. The are wills to be the cool kid, there are pride that refuse to be stomped upon, and there are struggle against each own demon.

So when your friends tell you those words, you must feel like you should follow what other people wear and snap, you’re back to feeling awesome and guiltless in your jeans. You must feel amazing for couple months, maybe even longer as you’re back to the top of the pyramid. Feel the breeze, I tell you. Feel that sweet, sinful breeze as long as you can and love yourself.

You only get to feel good because you’re in the wrong side of the community. You’re in the sea full of people whose lives are to defy God’s orders entirely.

Have you ever imagined how things would be like if you’re on the other side of the joins? Hell, have you ever bothered to take a look with the two eyes God’s kindly given to you?

Because while you’re having fun and going out to parties, people across the fence are shaking their heads, and you won’t even understand how disappointed you’re making them feel. Have you ever thought about how they feel being represented by mindless fools who can’t even decide in which side they want to stand?

Have you ever thought what might run across their minds as they take one look at your jeans and your flawless bum?

And as you cross that fence to be with the people who knows, you’re once again back into becoming the bottom of the heap, because your long legs are sin, and your headscarf barely covers your chest. You’re nothing but a disappointment and they look at you with the most pitying look they can muster only because all you ever really want is to be pretty.

The judging look stares right back at you all over again, and at the end of the day, as you struggle your way out of those skinny jeans, you’ll look right back into the eyes of your reflection and see how messed up you’ve become. You’ll think of just one thing, ‘Maybe those skirts can look good too.’

And so you put them back on and you style it so modestly. You walk outside, meet your other kind of friends, and you’ll look at their proud smile as they say, “You look beautiful.”

That’s when you know how shit things have become.

Right in that moment, you’ll think back to all the friends that once called you a freak for bowing down to God. You’ll think back and see how ruined things have become, and you’ll thank God for ever support you get, no matter how small it means to other people.

In that moment, you’ll see for real. It’s all like a train wreck, and the pride is thousand times better than being complimented for your hair or white pretty face. When you are being complimented for your modesty, you are being complimented for who you are and not what you are. They see you as a human and not as a the pretty object they can throw and catch as they please.

But the question remains the same at the end of the day.

For how long will this flame of pride ignites? How long does it takes until the flame blows out and the skirts goes back to the bottom of the dark closet? How long until you’re back to the streets thinking the white pretty face is enough to conquer the world? How long will it take until you can be proud of yourself despite what they think?

Time ticks, and thoughts can be brainstormed. Can hearts remain strong at these times of your life?

Ladies, here’s to us.

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